What's so hard about it?

I currently have two problems. First, I have trouble telling people how I feel. I don't know why but it somehow makes me feels vulnerable. Second, I have people who have trouble telling me how they feel and make my life a living puzzle.

Thinking about something and saying it out loud is a whole different thing. Just because you think of it or assume something about it doesn't makes it real. Assumption is remotely a fact. There's no single human being in this whole wide world that can actually read minds. (Uh,no offense Edward Cullen) Hence, we need to tell others or at least ask . Don't assume. Don't make your own conclusion. Don't do something stupid without knowing things for sure.

Say, if you like a girl. Just because she replied your smile doesn't mean she has the same feelings towards you. But there's also a slight chance that she is totally in love with you. So, you need to find out by telling her. Paham?

Giving silent treatment and going all sulky when you are angry doesn't make things any better. It makes things worst. Sometimes people doesn't even know why you are angry. Tell them if they hurt your feelings. Sometimes words act better than action.

Sometimes it's a comfort to know. Even though you have say it thousands times before. Like telling your mum how much you miss her.

I think telling people how you feel makes the world a better place to live. Though it's a skill that I really need to work on. Hold no grudge. Spread the love. :D

......

Really had the urge to write but nothing came out. ugh. Just like constipation with tenesmus. wtf?

Hush.

Let's talk about secrets. Juicy. I hate secrets but I have a lot of it. Just had the most awesome night of my life but I can't tell everyone because the fear of hurting one person. Secret is ridiculous.

Secret is power. You can use people if you know their darkest secret. Learn how in Gossip Girl. Huhu.

Secret makes you a liar. There's no explanation needed in that

Secret is fun. When you have someone to share it with.

Secret is tiring. When it affects a big part of your life and when it's all you can think of.

Secret draws attention. Seriously. It's intriguing and most of the time controversial.

Sometimes it is better not to tell because once it is out there's no way back. You can't chew back your own words. But sometimes it's just has to be told. For the greater good. Now I sound like Dumbledore.

Why do people keep secrets?

Because we don't want people to know, but why?

I keep secrets because I want to evade people's judgment, to not hurt someone, to save myself from trouble or simply because I'm a coward. But it is up to me. I like keep things to myself. I'm a private person and only a few out there that can really crack me open. But. I seem to not be able to keep other people's secrets very well. Huu. Don't trust me.

In Desperate Housewives they said, a man is as sick as his secret. So true.

Tiada rahsia antara kita. That's what they say in true love. Bullshit. I don't know maybe it's true. But I don't think so.

But secrets doesn't always has to be all dark and miserable isn't it. But why must you keep good things to yourself.


I don't know what the hell I am talking about. Just typing for the sake of update. Ideas has been popping up like popcorn but I just can't make myself into writing it. Ugh. I'm too lazy to do anything these days. :D

Meet the strangers

Coincidence is interesting. It makes this world or to be precise, this world wide web, seems a little small. During the past couple of weeks I've stumble with three random persons that turned out to be somehow related with my real life. If they were to find out about this post,I would like say sorry in advance if I ever intrude their privacy.

Exhibit A
The first guy came up when my brother talked about him over dinner. He was going out along with my brother and other jemaah for 40 days without his parents permission. So he sold his mobile phone and earning him RM150. We were pitying him and all. Well, he turned out to be this cute guy who have send a request to be my friend in Facebook but I've ignored him because he seems to be adding girls randomly. But later that night when my brother saw the request he said, "Haa. tu lah dak tadi tuh" He lives in my neighborhood, my age but he didn't came from the same school as mine. Oh, and of course I approved the request.

Exhibit B
The second one is quite bizarre. I've been reading this person's blog for quite a while. I even commented on one of his posts. He's a 34 year old doctor who's now studying anesthesiology. He loves photography, took great pictures with this awesome DSLR that I wish to buy someday. uh. Well, he's also learning photoshop so I did leave some advice on how's the fastest way to master it.

At the same time, my grandmother is having a heart problem and been visiting HUKM frequently. One of the doctors there is my family. My mum has talked on and on about him. How nice he is, that he's single and she wants me to meet him. Huu. xpelah. She even shows me pictures of him. When I saw the pictures it didn't ring any bells but when my mum told me that he likes to take pictures. I was like could it be him?
So, I showed the blog to my mum and she said yes. Haha. My mum even force me to leave a comment in his blog telling the whole stories.
Yeah. Some famous blogger turned out to be my second cousin.


Exhibit C
The last one is more nostalgic I would say. I met my first crush~ One of my biggest crush and I was crushed by him. Hahaha. It brings back all the memories. I was eight and didn't know any better. We were friends, and I like him a lot. We love Dragon Ball and used to draw the characters all the time. One day when I know it was his birthday, I don't have much money but I want to give him present so I bought him pencils and an eraser. I guess. I wrapped it with papers and pasted little hearts on it. OMG! I can't believe I did that. Anyway, when he received it he frowned and he peeled the hearts off. Uh. It hurts. Haha. But we continue to be friends until 9 had a massive fight and then I pass the PTS and trus gi standard 5. No longer friends since then.
He added me on Facebook. But, I didn't remember him so well because he looks different. But after few comments of confirmation of course I remember him now.

Oh. Upon request. Home was great. Tgk lah pergi and balik dgn sape kan. hahah. Especially when I had the chance to introduce all my favorites people in the world i.e my loud family. Hee. Enough.

Mst belajar~! Ah. Malas. :D

Tagged the first and second. huu

Utk pertame kali nye. huhu. nape tag xtau lah. tapi mcm menarik. dah bape lame dah nih. tapi internet tahi. nak upload gamba pun xbole.

The first one by mysourha

1. Take a screenshot of your desktop without moving/closing any of the windows

2. Tag 5 people!

if without moving or closing the desktop you got this one lah


But this one is my desktop. so amiklah due2

Tag 5 people? xcukup org nih. layan je lah eh
1. haxi
2. oyuk?
3. skm
4. shafie
5. sape sape lah. biso sengoti ke.haha



and this one by akak~ or haxira
tough Qs tho.

1.How old are you?
Twenty and loving it

2. Are you single?
Hmmm.. yes

3. In what age do you think you’ll get married?
Gosh. just like akak. I would love it to be 24 but I dunno. studies and work are in the way.

4. Do you think you’ll be marrying the person you are with now?
Hell I dunno

5. If not, who do you want to marry?
Chuck Bass. Yes

6. Do you want a garden/beach wedding, or the traditional wedding?
Beach/garden sounds fun but no too risky. Traditional maybe. hotel if i can afford it or maybe some hall.

7. Your ideal motif?
Oh. akak. I want off-white too! and some dark red roses

8. Where do you plan to go on a honeymoon?
Aish. I want to go somewhere extreme and different like safari or desert or Iceland.
But beaches are more romantic. So. Ntah lah

9. How many guests do you think you’ll invite?
200 sudah.

10. Do you want an extravagant wedding or a simple wedding?
Simple yet extremely classy and elegent. :D

11. Do you want the traditional vows or something you’d make up on your own??
we don't need one usually

12. How many layers of cake do you want to have?
seven

13. Do you prefer having your reception at a hotel or at a simple place?
Simple wedding at a hotel. Bole?

14. When do you want to get married, evening or morning?
Evening reception

15. You’d rather have your reception outdoors or indoors?
Malaysia and outdoors. No way. It'll be either hot or rainy. It has to be perfect so indoors

16. Do you like a grand entrance for your groom/bride?
Something different would be fun

17. Name the song/tune you’d like played at your wedding?
My heroin by Silverstein played by me - the piano version. Haha. I wish. Tough song but maybe. I would love to hire someone to play live piano during the whole ceremony

18. Are you a morning person or a night person?
Night!

19. Do you want a solemn ceremony or a light one?
I'm a first born, first grandchildren on my father side. so it might get solemn provided that my bro doesn't cut the line lah.

20. What age do you want to get married?
Hm. Wernicke-Korsakoff syndrome nih. ish

21. Describe your ideal husband/wife.
Oh gosh. Someone dominant but not bossy. Caring yet not over protective. Someone who listens and shares at the same time. But most importantly he must be the best of friend then I own the world. Hahaha. Too much information

22. Do you prefer fine dining or just the normal spoon & fork/knife?
Ntah

23. Champagne or red wine?
Neither

24. Honeymoon right after the wedding or days after the wedding?
Right after. hehe

25. Money or household item?
Money. Because I'm kinda fussy and sometimes the gifts are overlapped. So just give me the money ok.

26. Who will pay for the bills?
Both party

27. Are you ready for married life?
Nah. I don't think I'll ever be but I just have to I guess

28. Do you think you will still be a virgin until u get married?
yes.

29. Will you always be true to your wife/husband?
Yeah. I hope so. You can't never be sure.

30. How many kids do you like?
I used to dream to have 7 kids. realistically maybe 3 or 4

31. A new house for a newly wed or an old one?
New house but not new neighborhood. Ade ke? Some condo maybe

32. Will you celebrate silver wedding, gold wedding, or diamond wedding?
ntah. diamond?

33. What kind of cuisine would you like for your wedding?
Maybe normal malay wedding cuisine but one thing for sure the door gifts will be chocolates~

34. Will you record your honeymoon in a cd or dvd?
Lots and lots of DVDs.


Told ya. though questions. maybe someday I might just elope with someone grabbed from the streets

tagging syida and mai. <33

Organized Rythm

Mari mari abe,
kito pege tange,
abe jgn riso,
kito sude tune.

Well, yeah this song was played over and over again on the bus during my journey from Kuantan to KL last Friday. The tune started out like a club song and when the singer starts singing it sounded like a Hindi song but when you listen closely it was actually a Malay song, with Kelantanese dialect. After manage to gobble a bar of chocolate and sank down a bottle of ice cream soda, I was sugar high and in grave need to take a leak. I became extra alert and manage to catch some of the lyrics from the song. I even know what album it is from - Citra Dikir 2. haha. I caught the driver unwrapping the brand new album out of its plastic like a kid with a handful of candies. There were a few of new albums.

Everyone loves music right? At least I am. I listen to music most of the time and I might just turn deaf by the age of 30. My only source of mobile music just broke and I'm sorely affected by it. I'm currently totally in love with Mocca, Jack Johnson and Hellogoodbye. I'm also dipping my toes into Travis and Radiohead without much problem because they're awesome.

One person music liking might be entirely different from the other even though if they are best friends.

I always think that it's an interesting way to get to know someone by checking their playlist. They might turned out to be rather unexpected and surprising. I might think that the bus driver's music choice was ridiculous but he might as well think mine is too. I used to know this urban girl who you wouldn't expect to be a fanatic of dikir barat song or my other friend who looks rather soft on the outside loves Metallica's song. Even my brother who always loves screamy-trashy song actually has a soft spot for Miley Cyrus and Taylor Swift.

All in all it depends on the person's ears. We can't judge music or even worse debating which music is the best. Music has invaded us all. Uh oh. :D

Out of the blue

Blue is no where near my favorite color but it somehow describes me. I took a test called what's your true color?
So I'm blue.

You're blue — the most soothing shade of the spectrum. The color of a clear summer sky or a deep, reflective ocean, blue has traditionally symbolized trust, solitude, and loyalty. Most likely a thoughtful person who values spending some time on your own, you'd rather connect deeply with a few people than have a bunch of slight acquaintances. Luckily, making close friends isn't that hard, since people are naturally attracted to you — they're soothed by your calming presence. Cool and collected, you rarely overreact. Instead, you think things through before coming to a decision. That level-headed, thoughtful approach to life is patently blue — and patently you!

That's me. Maybe. Some of it. Not really.

Mesti belajar! Mesti.

What's the deal?

The Muslims had received many prophecies years ago that doesn't make any sense back then but just so relevant today. That's just awesome. We should be the greatest population on earth. But sadly we're not, yes we were once before but that doesn't really matter now.

Among the prophecies are about the signs near doomsday.
One of it is, "there will be very tall buildings"

Petronas Twin Towers used to be the tallest building in the world, it is located in Malaysia the country that is govern by the Muslims. The height is 452 m and consist of 88 floors. It was designed by César Pelli an Argentine-American architect. Interestingly, this building was designed to resemble motifs found in Islamic art, a reflection of Malaysia's Muslim religion and the building cross-section resemble an Islamic symbol called Rub el Hizb. Cool.

It looks a little like IIUM's logo don't you think?

Unfortunately, in the year 2004 Taipei 101 was build with the height of 502.9 m and 101 floors. Easily surpass Petronas Twin Tower with extra 50m and 13 floors.

Now I'm getting to my point.



The Burj Dubai is yet to be tallest building in the world. It is estimated to be completed by September 2009. With the height of 818 m! Surreal. Luckily human hasn't manage to surpass God's tallest mountain. The Everest - 8,848 m~ We are far far behind.

As the name implies, it is located in Dubai. One of the seven emirates in UAE. Of course, lead by Muslims.

I mean, come on what's the rush? Despite all the prophecies, we are inviting the doomsday. We are like let's fulfilled all the signs near doomsday, one each day, so it'll be faster. I'm not against development but I just think it is such a waste of money. All those famine and wars involving Muslims. Disappointing.

Oh, and don't get me started on how we are like racing on building humongous, beautiful and yet empty mosques around the country. Yes, it is on the list of signs near doomsday. Told ya!

I'm no good in this, please correct me if I'm wrong.

*I don't want to bore you with details, so for further readings simply click on the maroon words - links to the source*

Wishing upon the stars

I have a lot of wishes. Some are waiting to be fulfilled, some I don't even think I can have it and some will never come true. One of it is I always wish to never grow up. Of course I didn't wish this when I was small. I always think I was not much a kid when I was a kid. I mean, I always felt that I was too big for this and had voices saying you're not a kid anymore, you don't fit here. I remember having this when I was around 9 to 12 years old. I totally regret it today at 20 and next year I'm officially an adult. Ugh. Come on, being a kid is the greatest thing. You can be a nuisance but yet be loved. You can be all sloppy and clumsy but still you're cute. You don't have to make real life long effect choices. Your biggest problem was your Barbie's shoe went missing. You can ruin all your teeth because it will simply grow back. You even have Children's Day for goodness's sake.

But some wishes are just not meant to be fulfilled. I had my time, I just have to deal with it.

Somehow some people say be careful of what you wished for, you might just get it. That's totally true too.

Oh, Saturday night sucks when you have had the greatest Saturday night last week. *exaggeration alert* :p I should lay low, shouldn't get my hopes up. I'm just another girl.

Sultan Pahang's Birthday + weekend + Deepavali = Cuti~

Today I'm in the mood to tell the world about my weekend. I might go rojak ayam all the way and mind you it might get a little personal. Haha. No way.

Kisah bermule, Khamis 23rd October.
Hm. The bus was at 8. Ari isnin lagi dah btau zub2 nak mintak tolong anta gi terminal. At 7.30 tunggu2 xdtg pn zub2 nih. Teha made the decision to call him and yes he forgot and he was at the megamall. We freaked out. Kami pn decide utk cari org len utk anta. Nasib ade Jibah tapi time tu hujan sgt lebat so die xle drive. Hmm. Mintak Fafafia bwk kan kete n die lum solat lak. Aish. 7.40pm. Nak wat cane suh je lah die solat dulu and die anta ktorng. Fafa bwk sgt laju n sempat~ 7.58pm kot sampai. Tapi bas gerak lambat gak.


Huu. The whole class was shocked with Ipin's announcement to get married this December. The whole class cheered. He was the first, it was like a splat in the face. We are adult. Haha. Oh, I told my mum about it. She was shocked too. Talking by experience she's always against early marriage and especially when the girl is older. Tapi setiap kali pn she would ends up saying "ala, tapi ramai je yg kekal kan" I thought that was it. Suddenly she hit me with a question. "Kalau tetibe ade org ajak ira kawin, ira nak x?" I was like whatthefish? but all I can do was chuckled n sengih mcm kerang busuk. Never really thought about it. Yeke?


Friday, 24th October.
The day start a little late. Ye lah tunggu the stupid Toshiba guy to repair our stupid new fridge. Kate kul 2, kul 4 baru sampai. My brother and I were planning to go out that day. Jadi sgt lambat la kua ny. Tapi xkire nak kua gak. Tapi bile kua with my brother kene lah wat the usual routine KLCC-Pavilion-BB/Sg.Wang. Jalan kaki macam ape. "Kakak, oki nak cari topi lah kat pavilion, pastu nak cari kemeja lah kat BB." Songeh sgt banyak mamat tuh. Shops like a girl. Oh, he bought a cap and I bought a bag <3 at Pull and Bear.


Movie at 8pm. Eagle Eye. The story was a little slow at the beginning and has a lame intro. The usual crap Muslim as terrorist. But suddenly the pace changed - warp speed. "Jerry Shaw, you're activated" said the voice over the phone. It's about a guy and a lady who were forced to do things and they received orders mostly from phone calls made by 'someone' who can see them every where they go. But I think most of it are kinda cliche, sappy ending but worth watching. Oh, before the movie. Hampir ketemu tapi tak kesampaian. Haha. Got home around 11pm. Ibu pun dah tdo nasib xkene marah


Saturday, 25th October.
It's a one heck of a historical day. It was the day I cooked my first dish. Haha. My mum wasn't around dan ade perut yg perlu di isi jadi ibu pn suruh masak lah. Hmm. Baiklah. So, with the music on, tears running down (damn onions!) and a lot of faith. I cooked. Huu. My sister kate sedap. Haha. Oh, but one thing I learned jgn msg2 time masak. Nanti terhangus. Ah. Sket je.


Kemudian baru kuar umah~ First stop, SKM's open house. Hah. Lambat. Sume kwn2 dah balik. Tapi nasib ade makan lagi. Huu. Nice host. Next, Alamanda. Hm. we were hoping for a live band tapi xde pon. So, jalan2 round the mall few laps. Then sume pn dah bising suh balik. Kne lah balik. Ingat terus balik. Tapi disuruh gi another open house but this one was totally different and a very embarrassing one indeed. Yeah. Sangat2. Friendly folks though we were sending a wrong message to the family. Then got home has to endure my mum's interrogation. But love the spontaneity of the day, funny.


Sunday, 26th October.
Nothing really happen. Another open house. But I got my full dose of Yaya. Dapat cite2. Huu. Best.


Today, 27th October.
Here am I writing this in the middle of the night. Nak balik dah~~ wah. xmo. Oyasumi~!

First born rules!

I have a theory. That came from my sheer observation since my childhood and all my subjects revolve from my family. The theory is about the differences between the first and second born.

It only applies when:
-Both of them have the same gender.
-Their age gap usually less than 3 years.

Okay, from what I observe the first child seems to be more active, naughtier, smarter but less successful in life because they tend to be more carefree. Oh, less successful doesn't mean they are some kind of pathetic loser but just in comparison with the second child.

The second child seems to be more tense, well disciplined and they work harder so they tend to have a proper or better life.

But. I have no idea why they are like that or maybe it's just me trying to say what I want to believe.

Annddd... Guess what? Guess what?

There's actually this thing called Second Child Syndrome. Yeah. However, it doesn't really relates with my so-called theory but it somehow describes the parenting difference that the second child usually received.

Your first child was the over-protected experiment…but she also got your undivided attention, a full schedule of playdates and ‘educational outings,’ and frame-by-frame video and photography documentation of every big first – at least until her sister was born.

Enter the second child. You may recognize her by her gently-worn wardrobe, smaller bedroom, and nearly empty baby book. She has committed the entire Nick Jr. afternoon programming schedule to memory, and knows the best way to get mom’s attention is to make noise – and a lot of it. Fighting with her older sibling is her favorite pastime. But she’s also amazingly self-sufficient, and full of wonderful surprises.

Oh well, there goes my another falsampah. haha. ape ape jelah.

Hmm. I wonder why is it every time I work harder it gets harder. I felt like a complete idiot just now during PBL. Even though the night before I've read so much. So much compared to before this lah. It seems to be much easier when I didn't bother to try. Maybe that's why I always consider myself to be allergic or sensitive to hard work because my brain seems to work much better with less info in it and gets full blown anaphylactic shock when I tried put more info in it than it could ever consume. Definitely bullshit~ :D

Talk to the (left) hand.

I'm a lefty and proud of it. But I don't even know why. Maybe because there are only handful of them out there. 7% - 10% of the population and it is more common in female. But, it is also common in people with neurological disorder like autism and mental retardation and normal left-handers tend to be schizophrenic, alcoholic, delinquent, dyslexic, and have Crohn's disease and ulcerative colitis, as well as mental disabilities.(Now it's getting depressing, damn those researches. Huh)

Quite a few of the articles I found was saying left handed people are better fighters because people don't aspect a left hook and so they tend to be criminals or a delinquent. Some even list out names of left handed criminals and believe it Osama Bin Laden is one of them.

While I was browsing for more articles about left handedness, I found this questionnaires that has 80 questions about Multiple Intelligence Inventory and of course I did answered it because one of the earliest questions asked whether I'm right or left handed. The results tell me about 8 areas of learning with a percentage on it. It seems that I am a loser in every aspects. My highest score was 36% on maths and body/kinesthetic?

Okay, back on left handedness.

Let's talk about the greatness of left handed people.
"left-handed people as a group have historically produced an above-average quota of high achievers."
"left-handedness also govern development of the language centers of the brain."
"left-handed could produce a corresponding intellectual advance and a leap in the number of mathematical, sporting, or artistic geniuses."
"study found that left-handed men are 15 percent richer than right-handed men for those who attended college, and 26 percent richer if they graduated. The wage difference is still unexplainable and does not appear to apply to women" Well, that one I don't really like.

There are many famous left handers too. Well I know there are zillions of other famous right handed out there but given that we are minority and many of us are famous is actually quite impressive. Here are some names that doesn't need any introduction:
Leonardo da Vincci, Michealangelo, Tom Cruise, Angelina Jolie, Kurt Kobain, Paul McCartney, Maradona, and Valentino Rossi.

Some said left handedness is inherited. A friend of mine said it always skip a generation like if your father is left handed, you and your siblings won't be one but your children will. I don't know but it is totally true in my case.

Oh. Others also said left handers tend to be clumsy. Lol. Tell me about it. But that's not true, it is actually because most things around us are meant for right handers (like scissors and those desks and chairs that are joined together)and we the left handed people are having trouble adapting with it. Now I feel better.

Left handers are also associated with leadership. Which doesn't really occur to me. However, 60% of U.S presidents in the last thirty years have been left-handed, including Ronald Reagan, George H.W. Bush and Bill Clinton. Presidential candidates Barack Obama and John McCain also happen to be left-handed. Yeah.

Gosh. I need to stop. Btw, August 13th is Left Handers day. :D

Hey Einstein!

Would you agree if I say everyone is a genius?
You, me and everyone.
There are all sorts of genius out there. They can be in a form of actors, choreographers, scientists, lawyers or even jugglers. Every field has its own genius and everyone has their own field of interest. But why there aren't many of them. I would say it's their luck or they've found their passion. Yeah, because no one knows that he is a genius until he is one.

A father wouldn't say to his son over dinner something like "Son, it's a little dark in here. Why don't you try to invent a light bulb tomorrow?"

or

You wake up one day and realize that you want to create a sewer system.

I wish it's that simple. It is somehow a matter of luck and passion and of course, hard work.

Then, how to become a genius? (rich and famous too maybe)
Hmm. Maybe simply do things that you love. I mean, even if you're not a genius in the field that you've chosen but at least you love it. I love and envy when people said that they are being paid to do things that they love. It sounds so unfair.

Well, as for me I don't even know why I'm doing medicine. I'm not a people person and I don't think that I'll get any better after three and a half years. Though I enjoy studying it sometimes.

So, find the genius in you or maybe I should say find the genius in me. Yeah. That's more like it. :D

Body, soul and crap

A living person is a body with a trapped soul in it. I say trapped because we don't choose our body but we don't choose our soul either. A body aged, injured and healed. It's physical. But a soul is the same either when we were young, old or handicapped. A soul is the one that makes up a person's personality. We complained about our body but our soul is what we are.

So, what makes a person beautiful?

Someone wise and mature must say it's the soul.
Someone superficial might say it's the body.

I don't know.

But I say it's a little bit of both.

There. Just a passing thought. A crappy one indeed. Who cares. :D

They spell out BRATS!

Last week, 1st Syawal, I woke up with five siblings. I have two additional baby brothers Afif and Raziq. We had to take care of them because their parents have to work during hari raya. Uh, pity them.. Though we were more than happy to take care of them because they are among my favorites little people in the world~

Proudly present,
my favorite brats!


Muhammad Afif, The master of disguise
4 years old.
One minute he can be Abg Mat from Geng Bas Sekolah and in a flash he would turn into Danny Phantom or any other characters
He talks ridiculously amazing things for his age.
Tagline - "Mcm nak terberak je", "Mcm badut" (with a specific and influential tones that make us all saying it too and look pretty stupid)





Siti Noraini Humaira, The otai kampung
2 years 9 months old
Don't fall for her cuteness, she could beat Afif without a fight.
With a husky voice she talks awfully a lot but you'll understand very little, but nice to listen though.






Siti Balqis Maisarah, The blur princess
1 year 9 months old
Yes, total blur-ness kalah syaza.
She would go to you saying or asking something and when you reply she would simply say "ah?" over and over, then you'll give up.







Muhammad Raziq Adha, The womanizer
11 months old
Youngest of all, so his brat-ness hasn't fully emerge
He smiles all the times and looks gorgeous even only with three teeth.





We have another one coming early next year. Really hope it's a boy. Can't wait.

Hmmm. I just received a devastating news and I feel so stupid and ashamed right now that I want to kill myself.

Who am I?

I feel bad. Yes. After dumping someone right in front of his face without telling any solid reason makes me feel a little bit evil even in Ramadhan. I always did that kind of things when I'm tired of it. Stupid. Anyhow, I need a break from any relationship with any chromosome XY right now.

Coincidence maybe. I love this website called Tickle.com. It features a lot tests and quizzes about personality and all which I love to take when I have extra time to kill. Just now I took a test called "Are you Naughty or Nice" . The result surprise me. Yes, it did. I turned out to be the Little Devil, which according to the result the most evil out of four categories. Lol. I've pasted the result below~

Born to be bad? Oh yeah! Naughty by nature, you've tried everything at least once and aren't afraid to get your hands — or the rest of you — dirty when the opportunity arises. Whether that means plotting for a promotion at work or toying with somebody's affections, you're willing to break the rules and pull out all the stops to get what you want. As long as you're having fun and getting ahead, just about anything goes. And while it is fun to defy convention now and then, you're definitely walking a tightrope. It probably wouldn't hurt to listen to that little angel on your shoulder sometimes — the one who says "no!" But in the meantime, keep being bad and enjoying yourself. Just don't throw caution entirely to the wind... 5% in the community

I've taken tons of tests before this. Relationship, entertainment, personality and even Phd certified test on career and life. Whatever. Here are some other results that I find interesting.


Which Hero Are You?
Nikki Sanders
-Hotness, I love~!


Which Harry Potter Character Are You?
Ginny Weasley
- I end up with Harry Potter~! Yatta~


The Ultimate Personality Test
Rock Star
-Rock on bebeh!




The Zodiac Match Test
Aries
-Huh. I hate aries guys



Which Grey's Anatomy Character Are You?
Dr. Miranda Bailey
-No way, I want Dr. Addison!


What Kind of girlfriend are you?
Laidback lover
-So true~


The Brain Test
Balanced Brain
-It says both sides of brain will compete to make a decision. Patutlah salu hang je pale otak nih. 5% in the community

Maybe you should try it too~~

When hormones come to play

Let me go. Please. I'm sorry. Set me free. Oh. Kill me already.

So long iPhone, well hello w960. wink.wink.

After much waiting I got really tired. Then when I saw the actual iPhone I got really disappointed. It was highly overrated. I did wanna wait for the 3G iPhone but can't wait no longer. One day, I stumble upon this phone. Sony Ericsson w960i. It made my life and I purchased it.








Camera 2 megapixel
Touch screen, smooth no stylus needed
Wifi
No radio, bluetooth
GPS and maps
8-16 gig internal memory. Not expandable
Video format - MPEG-4 in .mp4, .mov, .m4v
No actual keyboard only virtual






Camera 3.2 megapixel. Would be much better if 5
Touch screen with stylus provided and needed for those tiny unreachable icons
Wifi
No GPS
8 gig internal memory. Not expandable.
Video format - MP4 (.mp4) , real media (.ram, .rm), 3GPP (.3gp)
PDA phone - Quickoffice, Pdf+
Lag compare to N95




Some compare features. I still love iPhone and did tried to customize my phone as similar as iPhone but couldn't find the exact themes though, like from my previous phone. I have this ultimate iLock software that should only available in iPhone that is exceptionally similar from the original. I'll upload some pics later on

The ironies of end

Most people live life by anticipating the end, don't we?

Kids can't wait to be an adult. Teenagers can't wait to finish school. PMR, SPM. Can't wait to graduate from college. Get a job, go to work. In between work and study, we'll date and get married. Then, tired of working get retired and spend the pension. Live with your grandchildren and you know what's next.

That's pretty much life isn't it? Well, unless you get married to a king from Kingdom Andalasia and didn't have to work for seven generations or maybe get a terminal disease and die early. Then, it'll be different.

The first irony I found out was it never really end. Each end was actually the ultimate beginning of something new.

The second one was we tend to look back and then only realize that it was important.

Say,
I'm facing a big examination like SPM, of course I can't wait for it to end. Maybe I tried my hardest maybe I didn't. After the exam, I thought it's finally over. Then, the result was out. Good or bad, with that very result is what going to determine my future. Then only I realize that it's not over, it is just about to begin and I'll look into the past and wish, just wish that I could do better.

That's the lamest example I can give. I do hope that I made my points. I think, most of the stuffs in life is pretty much like that and come to think of it death is the ultimate beginning of all. That's the only end that no one anticipates. :D

Familiarly foreign

Recently, in conjunction with Merdeka Day my brother and I change our phone language setting from English into Malay. Well because we thought it was kinda patriotic and funny. It was funny. We were like what the hell is jeda means? But, we were patriotically surprised because it feels so foreign and not right like we just learned the language yesterday.

I just think it's kinda sad. That's all. :D


*jeda = pause

Basah,busuk,bising tapi best~!

Exhibit A

I love photoshop. Not that I'm really good, I'm still learning and in every new piece of mine I always include new techniques that I just learned mostly from the internet or accidentally. Above is my newest piece that was supposedly to be used in an exhibition last week. I just learned how to make the background it's called the retro rays which is fairly simple actually. I love the colour combination of red ,white and black with white as the background colour. You might notice that the fonts was getting smaller as it goes down which I tried my hardest to fit in all the texts. Owh. I also tried to do the pasting effect where it was supposed to look like you cut the something from somewhere else and pasted it in the picture like I did with the tap with running water and the lice but it didn't turn out so well.

Hell break loose when all about the exhibition went wrong and damage enhanced as I went to the penis fest that weekend. The after meeting felt like judgment day.

Questions asked, explanations demanded. But I couldn't save myself and luckily there was Aini and Kak Fatin. Immaturity is so me. So, I did like what ika suggested me to do. Turned on the music.


As I was listening to the loud music I stared blankly with aching heart. They were all looked like in some kind of music video with unsynchronized lip sync. The band members - the president, the director and the head comms. Took turns to sing their heart out but I don't have the heart to listen. Some with their hair bouncing up and down as they talk. Some scrutinized whatever it is in their handbag.

Whatever it is I despise leading/organizing I just wanted to be a designer. I always think preaching through arts is kinda cool.

Liar Liar

I wonder why do people lie because I have been lying a lot lately to save my ass. It is said that in the western countries (i guess) if you cross your finger while lying it doesn't count. If life is that simple.

It concerns me because it has become some sort of habit in my daily life. I like to please people and I hate to be rejected or being said no to. It kills my confidence. So, when I was in primary and early secondary school, I like to go out with my friends and my mom seldom let me. I mean rarely. In order to appear innocent and still get what I want. I lied. I guess that's when it all started and today I'm an expert.

My brother is now in form four and he, like me is facing the same problem which is being restricted from going out and he will try his best begging my mom to let him. Sometimes he'll get the permission and most of the time he didn't get it. But.. never once he tried to lie. Last week there was this big gig called mocca (i think) and all his friends are going and he has been begging like crazy but still didn't get the chance. If I were him..

So what am I?

That question appears out of my own guilt. People trust me and I always get away with it. I'm being selfish just because I'm too afraid to tell or face the truth. I need to stop.

I did some research and surprisingly there are many types of lies and I've pasted some of it. However, lying in any intention is wrong no matter how you classify it. Truth need to be told. No one likes to be lied to.

Bald-faced lie
A bald-faced (or barefaced or boldfaced) lie is a lie that is told when it is obvious to all concerned that it is a lie. For example a child who has chocolate all over his face and denies that he has eaten the last piece of chocolate cake is a bald-faced liar.

Lying by omission
One lies by omission by omitting an important fact, deliberately leaving another person with a misconception. Lying by omission includes failures to correct pre-existing misconceptions. A husband may tell his wife he was out at a store, which is true, but lie by omitting the fact that he also visited his mistress.

Lie-to-children
A lie-to-children is a lie, often a platitude that may use euphemism(s), that is told to make an adult subject acceptable to children. A common example is "The stork brought you."


White lie
A white lie would cause no discord if it were uncovered and offers some benefit to the liar, the hearer, or both. White lies are often used to avoid offense, such as telling someone that you think that their new outfit looks good when you actually think that it is a horrible excuse for an outfit. In this case the lie is told to avoid the harmful implications and realistic implications of the truth. As a concept it is largely defined by local custom and cannot be clearly separated from regular lies with any authority. As such, the term may have differing meanings in different cultures. Lies that are harmless but told for no reason are generally called white lies.

Exaggeration
An exaggeration occurs when the most fundamental aspect(s) of a statement is true, but the degree to which it is true is not correct. An example of this kind of lie is when someone says they are so hungry they could eat a horse.


So, this is my first post didn't expect it to turn out this way. I've been meaning to do this for a long time.