Hello World

Sometimes we think that we own the world. It's so familiar, it's so predictable. But you can't own the world even my world is totally different from yours. Maybe you can own your world but sometimes even our own world seems out of hand.

I mean, today could be the saddest day of my life but who knows it could be the happiest day of someone else who just had the same experience as me. Be it a walk in the park or receiving a text message.

I hate changes. It makes me feel not in control. Changes are sometimes a problem. Say, hmm.. If you lost someone or if a family splits things can never be the same again. The world that was so familiar before are now different. How your routine life will change. If before there are five people in the family and now there are four. Its sounds like a no big different but actually its a tremendous lost. At these times we'll only realize those small parts that one particular person did to our life. Okay, maybe losing someone is too big of a change. But let's say we go to class or office everyday with a car, the trip was routine and almost forgettable. but if suddenly on one fine day one of the tires punctured - that would be a problem and we have to deal with it.

Changes remind us that we are not always in control with our life.

I was in a labour room one day, you know its timeless in there. Those babies they come out anytime they like. It was 3 a.m. at that time. It was hectic, people running around with their works, you could see a few worried and sleepy husbands here and there and if you enter one of the room you could hear doctors and nurses cheering to help the labour process. Macam pasar borong. Anyway, I was cold, tired and sleepy. So I went outside for a while. It took me almost by surprise. The night was warm, silent and serene. The sky was very pretty with stars everywhere and you could almost feel people are sleeping out there. Completely different from where I've been 30 seconds ago. I don't know, at that time I felt so small and the world is so big. :D

*pic - balqis again~ my favorite little person

The villain in you

I wonder does our childhood shape who we are today. I mean, we have seen all these in the movies and TV series. A child with a horrible childhood usually turned out to be the bad guy. You know, we have Sylar from Heroes or Voldemort from Harry Potter. They always give reasons why the villains are villains.

My childhood wasn't all that great. Maybe it does shaped who am I today. A little. Back then, when we have problems at home I always pretend nothing happened, I'll just go to school and act that everything is fine even though horrible things happened just before I go to school. But then, at that time I was little and I can ignore them because there's nothing else I can do. Just hope and pray it will solve itself. And to me it does solve itself, but you just have to bear with it. However. I got carried away. The way I face problems today never changed. Ignoring and hoping always the way to go.

I don't know. Maybe it does shape you. It taught you how the way you see things. The way you think because when you were a child everything is a first. Maybe because of repeated exposure. You know, just like Pavlov's dog theory. Maybe it all accounts as experiences. The way a rich kid act can be different from a poor kid just because their perceptions towards the same situation is different.

Maybe to some their childhood doesn't really affect who they are today. Or maybe they just don't realize it or maybe the effects wasn't that significant because it doesn't make them villains today. So we think. :D

*pic - humaira, my three year old cousin. huu. abes sume cousin kne promote. gadis gedix bersuare menggoda. wahaha. xcaye? met her as a guy. tapi sgt comey n talks too much.

Emosi Comot

It's a mess alright. Emotions that is. It impairs our judgment. Why do we need it? They say it makes us human. I say it makes us miserable. People don't usually think straight when they are emotional. It makes us almost delusional sometimes. How small things can be ridiculously big when emotions stepped in. How simple can be complicated. How straight can be crooked.

Happy. Sad. Love. Hate. Anger. Jealousy. Grateful. Greed.

I can only think most of the negative ones. Do we experience emotion all the times? I don't know. Because right now I don't know what kind of feelings I'm having. But just because I can't name one doesn't mean it's not there. Weird things is. We always said feelings came from the heart. Truth is it's from brain. The hippocampal lobe to be exact. Then we can say emotions are merely neurons firings here and there plus some hormones, just like anything else.

We all have seen how emotion affects us. It affects our decisions. Same situation can lead to different decision when different emotions involve. kan2? I mean the way we think is different when we are angry than when we are happy. But at both times we will think we are damn right.

Apekah poin saye menulis ini? Ntah lah.

I think I'm just amaze by their influence. That's all. Even though it's messy I still think it's great. Spice up our life because without it we are just like robot. Only do things that we are suppose to.


**The pic - That was Balqis. My 2 year old cousin. Seorang gadis blur. Baru pas makan roti canai~

sepi

It has been a while. busy? maybe. not really. just lazy. Anyway, I want to introduce to you a new category~ It is called Pretty Ordinary. This is where I'll put up my favorite pics. It is what I believe in photography, anything can be pretty. Even the most ordinary, not the settings, not the people but just as it is.



Taken by choky2

This is Afif. My 4 year old cousin. He was following my brother like a shadow, just because my brother has a camera with him. He was begging for his picture to be taken, begging to play with it and all. Look at those desperate eyes. :D

uh-oh

Tell me. Is there anyone out there that haven't done anything wrong. Not a single thing. Live closely by the laws. Whatever laws out there. Is there? Hmmm. I don't know. Not if you are a human.

Doing something wrong, it also means breaking a law, don't you think? Maybe indirectly or maybe just some unwritten law or maybe just something that your mother ask you not to do but somehow we know it is wrong. bad.. So, why do we do it? Is it fun? Well. Sometimes. Depends. Cutting class can be fun. Speeding is also fun. Even stealing or lying can be fun. It's the thrills. Especially, when you didn't get caught after that.

And sometimes. For some sane people or after we think about it or maybe after doing it for the first time or when you do something really bad. It will also come with guilt. Yeah. The guilt. It makes you think that you won't do it again. Sometimes it works but sometimes it just doesn't. When it doesn't work anymore, you'll do it again and again until it doesn't feel wrong anymore. Now that is real bad.

Anyway, my point today is. If you confided to someone about a wrong thing that you've done and suddenly that person said 'hey, I've done that too'. How would you feel? I bet most of us will feel relieve. It makes us think maybe it is not so bad after all.

Well then. People said misery loves company. But now, we can also say guilt, crime, evil or whatever it is also loves company. Uh oh :D

hello~

Meet my new laptop. It's pink and it's pretty. Though nothing much but I love it~ Pic by my lobsterman with our new D60. :D

This year hasn't been a good year for me. Technology wise. I tought I can get back on track with my blogging but then my modem pulak rosak due to over excitement because holding too much secrets. what the hell.

I've always wanted to tell the whole stories about my holidays. How I manage to watch seven movies in five weeks even the one I would never expect myself watch it, how I cook tasteless meals, how I spend splendid times with my families, how I acquire a uniform to attend weddings, some serious shopping after raiding almost all shopping malls in one day, the wine of the forbidden island (oh, hush) ;) and soo much more. Tapi.. Rasenye sume tu dah basi. So lets get moving. But first, some of my favourite pics~



the eyes were too big but the amount of money was too little

Well. people. have you met someone or maybe you are one of them, the kind of people who always get what they want and won't be happy unless it is exactly the way they want it. Well. I have. A lot of them. But so what. The good thing about them is that they will usually try very hard to get what they want. And there are two kinds of them. One who only enjoys the chase and the work and not so much about the product. The other one is the one who really treasures the product or the outcome of their effort. These people they have aims and visions, even on petty stuffs and they really know what they want and once they realized it they wont stop with any means possible until they achieved it. They can get a little annoying when they didn't get it and won't stop whining until they get another chance to try. Merely describing.

What if, the thing you are trying to have is wrong?
What if, you are just one of the product of someone who loves to chase? Hmm.. Drama.

Well. me? I'm neither. I do get what I want. Sometimes. But usually it takes a very long time. Because what I usually do is, I wish and I wait. So screwed. Or sometimes I did it in my own way which some people don't understand. But hey, it worked and I'm grateful. or I'm just lazy. :D

Till we meet again~!! tak tau la bile.

Hibernation

won't be posting anything for a long time. kot. everything around me seems to be broken. huhu.

Oh well. Happy Holidays~!

Brain Freeze!

When there are too much to study in too little time plus draining spirit. So here come this. When I thought it would lift my spirit a little. I got more scared adelah.

Anyway, wishing everyone the ultimate good luck I could give~ :D

tag by akakkk~

Anda rasa anda hot?

hmm. mestilah. uhh. panas~


Upload gambar kegemaran anda.





Kenapa anda suka gambar ini?

First guess which one is me. hahah. gamba kegemaran sbb that's me and my favorite cousin. and kami sgt comel. baju same and all. i was like 8 mnths. hee. everytime tgk gamba nih sgt gembira.

Bila kali terakhir makan pizza?

tak igt. tapi dgn kanak2 pbl~

Apa yang anda buat selain menyelesaikan tag ini?

blaja, reply msg and ym skali sementare tunggu nak upload gamba. huu. multitasking. uh. internet kure2

Tag 7 orang :

xnk bole x?

Yes, no, maybe, I don't know

Principles. Do you have one? I bet you do. We all do. Not just one but a whole lot. Maybe we just don't realize it. yet. What is it anyway? I think it's kinda like a rule that you made for yourself and willingly wants to abide to it. Well you know like when people said..

I don't drink in a plastic cup or I don't eat from stalls by the street. It can a simple as that or it can be on bigger issues like I won't do drugs or no sex until marriage. I really having a hard time coming out with examples, but yeah.

I don't think what the principle is that matters but sticking to it is more important

People have reasons for their own principles. A real good one usually. Well depends on their reasoning too sometimes. When people start to give reason to things that they really want, even wrong things can sound right. When you put your words in a really proper way you actually can get want just by tweaking the truth a little. I really suck at that area. I don't know how to manipulate and when I tried I tend to be transparent. Yeah. I digress. I don't want to talk about that. I want to talk about principles right now, because I have a serious problem with that.

People said, rules are meant to be broken. Well, maybe. But how bout principles. I don't know about you, but I broke mine all the time. Ugh. I really hate myself for that. You see I just can't let people down. I mean. When my principle says I don't want to do this because it's wrong or because I just don't like it but when someone ask me to, I tend to follow it. Blindly. Just like that. I am so easy to be influenced. I absorbed it like a sponge. I am afraid to say no, because I am afraid of what people will think of me and that's just stupid because I believe my principles are good. You know, when you stand up on your principle people tend to say ' ee.. baik nye' and I think that comes with a subtle smirk (well that's what I usually do). Maybe I just made that up in my mind. Because I know I am not that good. But I want to be good. Hahaha. That just sound really corny and who cares what people think when you are doing the right thing. Right?

But I hate people with too much principles. because I think they are no fun and they not that good anyway talk too many and do so little. Or maybe I'm just jealous because I'm not that strong.

I don't even know if anyone will understand what I'm trying to say. :D