Darn

Mistakes are awful. It's just plain stupid. After a mistake was done, I would have one desperate wish. The wish that I haven't done that one particular action that has led to the particular mistake. Ugh. But mistake makes you learn. I guess. My latest lesson is air sirap and laptop doesn't go along so well.

So, yeah. Laptop rosak~! wahhh. xley nak berblogging atau ape2 yg bekenaan dgn computer. Dapat alasan utk tak update blog~ huhu

Oh no. Baru igt. My latest lesson is not laptop and air sirap but tertinggal beg duit dalam bas maraliner. Wah~ Whatever. It's just stupid to make the same mistake twice.

It never stops

Time. It's something that is not there but yet we can feel the presence explicitly. Yeah. Maybe time is just another interface that used by human to describes things just like another word. But somehow I think it is far more complex than anyone could ever think. It's not merely what number the fingers of a clock is pointing. It can represent a lifetime, a century, hopes, memories, zenith of a dynasty or can simply be divided into three.

Yes, three. The past, the present and the future. But come to think of it how could you possibly divide it. There's no exact line between those three but yet it's there. People say "I live in the moment". Can you? Those moments you called present slip between your fingers with you barely notice it. But some say "It's a gift". That's why it is called the present. That's another way to look at it. It's ironic I would say. Right now I can swear it's the present but by the time I finished writing this sentence it's in the past already. It's like it has never been there. But it was there just now. I could go crazy thinking about it.

I also think that time is the biggest illusion of all time. Hah. But yes. You see the exact amount of time can be excruciatingly long and extremely short at the same time. A minute can be long when you are holding your breath for example and can be meaningless say.. when you are doing things that you love or it can be extremely important like when you are saving someone's life. But still it's only a minute. 60 seconds. tick. tick. There it goes.
Oh, Jeffery Deaver in his novel describes time as an illusion too. It goes something like this.

The past is an illusion,
The future is an illusion,
Only the present is real.

Yes. So true.

Time makes the heart grew fonder. Time makes us forget. Really? Some things you don't just forget. Some things you just can't let go. and it hurt. Sometimes it is just not enough to heal the wound. I'm just saying.

Future. An anticipation. A hope. Merely a creation of mind.

Owh. I'm running out of time. I'm writing this post to kill the time in between classes. Now I wish I could buy more time so I can write more. What the hell. Sori lah teha klu xcukup panjang. hehe.

Metamorphosis

I've always wonder. Can people really change? Yes human learn, grow mature but change? I don't know. I wonder because I've never seen one.

I've seen people who get all high spirits during the early time they are trying to change. They'll all do things they never used to. But, in the end they'll go back to become the person that they used to be. Like after attending a motivational talk, I'll get all disciplined and motivated for a few hours, but then I'll forget all about it. Oh I've seen a person who tried to start a new life, change, become a better man but in the end he ends up ruining other people's life including mine. I don't hate the intention and effort to change but it made me realize it must be really hard.

Well, people do change sometimes I guess when they really need to. Maybe once a smoker gets a lung cancer, he'll stop smoking. Or maybe people change when they have a reason or someone to count on to. I don't think people change because he alone wants to. There must be something that triggers it and keeps him going. Some change for the better and some change for the worse.

What do I mean change. I hate changes. It's so comfortable being myself right now. But a little part of me wants to change. It's not that I want to change something drastic about myself. It's just change how I handle things and situations. But I don't think I can. I'm not trying hard enough or maybe I'm trying too hard. I think I'm actually trying too hard this time. It scares the crap out of me if I fail. I already got the reason that should be enough to keep me going. I sure is hope that I'll succeed. Oh please.

Yay~!

From syida~ wee. my first award. she says there's something about my writing. :D


I'll pass it on to..
1. A medical student - she being herself is fun.
2. Haxi the baker - BM yg hebat and funny wordplay.
3. watch-doc - walaupn kdg2 xphm, adore the passion.
4. klu bole nak kasi 11th-colony - members ny yg sgt pandai gaduh, kontroversi, comment dan tak puas hati. ugh.

Potrait

Tiada kerja dan saya sayang mereka~
Selamat tahun barus semua~ 2009 and 1430h